How do you evaluate your self-worth? What makes you feel worthy? Are you taking stock in your awesomeness? Or are you constantly putting yourself down? Or worse, are you allowing others to put you down?
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” – Unknown
Many people have trouble with self-worth and self-esteem and this intrudes in multiple areas of their life. Also, questions of one’s own self-worth can many times be brought forth by a history of troubled romantic relationships or interactions with romantic partners. Other times it could arise as a result of a career or business experience. The truth is though that self-worth does not come from outside yourself. It comes from within. Finding that strength, power, honor and self-love from within comes initially from digging deep to acknowledge all that you are. Also, it takes practice for those who are unclear about their worth or have habits of letting others take advantage of them.
“Self-worth comes from within, you can’t give it to someone and you can’t expect others to give it to you.” -Unknown
Have you ever had a job where you are asked to take on more and more and more and are not recognized? Do you consistently say yes, and then feel resentful when you are taken advantage of?
If you have answered, “yes”, then clearly you are devaluing yourself and/or biting off more than you can chew.
Five steps to increase your self-worth
1. Take an inventory of your gifts/strengths or journal about what makes you awesome.
Sometimes people forget how awesome they are and need reminders. If you get stuck in thinking negatively, then you need some reminders which bring you back to the present and to the positive. What are you good at? What are your strengths? What are your gifts?
2. Forgive yourself and let go of the past.
Forgiveness is powerful and essential. It is important to let go of the past and stand in your present. Sometimes you need to let go of past mistakes or past experiences. At other times, it is important to forgive oneself for the past. Either way, holding onto self-criticism or displaying self-deprecating behaviors are all elements of self-sabotage and do not make you better. Instead forgive yourself and let go of the past.
3. Surround yourself with positive people.
If you are around people who are constantly complaining or negative, it will be difficult to raise your self-worth. Find a group of people who are interested in success and positivity. Your social circle represents who you are. So if your friends have trouble with self-worth, it is likely you will too. So switch it up and get a social circle that brings you more positivity.
4. Learn to say “NO” when it does not serve you and it is not worth your time.
People will high self-worth know when to say ‘no’. It is important to know when an opportunity is not worth a “yes”. It could be timing, money, convenience, or any other number of reasons. The most important to know is whether it serves your purpose, where you are going in your life, and if it fits your vision. If it doesn’t, then why say ‘yes’? If something is worth your time, you’ll know. Saying no does not make you a bad person, it makes you a secure person who knows when to say when.
5. Recognize and challenge negative thinking, self-talk and cyclical thinking patterns.
Negative cyclical thinking is a mental killer. It is the courier of self-doubt as it has negative thoughts on a repeat cycle. Recognizing negative thinking is established through a practice of mindfulness or via being consciously aware of your thoughts. Once established, they can be squashed and flipped to positive thoughts immediately. Once a new pattern is established, then they are on a constant replay.
Use these steps and feel free to comment below on how you have increased your self-worth. Or, share some other techniques that you are using or have used to increase your own self-worth.
If you are looking to get challenged, increase your self-worth through examination or dig deeper into how you can improve your life, or really need to make a change, schedule your complimentary discovery call with me.