It is that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and single women everywhere are rolling their eyes.
Got a Valentine’s date? Need a Valentine’s Date? Staying in and don’t care?
The bigger question is, do you like being single or are you ready for something more? If you are ready for something more and continue to strike out when it comes to the dating game, maybe you are either picking the wrong men, hanging in the friend zone for too long, or just too damn nice. Whatever the case may be, you might need to check out one of my top five favorite books for single women to read when getting back into dating, or when trying to give up dating once and for all and finally meet “the one”.
Each of these books has something that stands out and helped me way back when I was single and hating it.
You can meet the love of your life, guy of your dreams, etc. It takes time, patience, alignment, and most of all you’ve got to work on your own crap first. If you try to meet someone and you haven’t dealt with your own baggage, it will be difficult to maintain a solid relationship.
So it is always good to start with working on yourself first before looking to get involved. A lot of times the issues relate to self-esteem, self-worth and expecting to be treated well. But, it is always good to check in with yourself and see what has been holding you back.
1. Why Men Love Bitches – Sherry Argov
This is an oldie but a goodie. I’ve lost more copies of this book than I can count. Mostly because I’ve had clients want to borrow it and then I never get it back. Seriously!
This book is great for doormats. You know the type: the good girl, the people pleaser, the eager to start a relationship girl. The kind of girl that is way too nice, says ‘yes’ a lot and men walk all over her. Look, there is NOTHING wrong with you if you are a good girl, but not all guys recognize the benefits of a good girl, and you can still be a good girl while being confident and standing in your power. Learn how to do that! Many men like the chase and the girl that blows them off. The one that doesn’t answer her phone or return texts and the one that does not make dinner at her place in the first few dates. If you are a little too nice, or are a little too available, this book is for you.
2. He’s Just Not That Into You – Greg Behrendt
I remember when this book came out, and then the movie. I remember it was a little controversial. But, I liked it and it makes a lot of sense. Again, while there are some guys that will tell a lady straight up why they are not interested, there are others that string women along. If he is too busy to text, call, or chat, something is up. No one is that busy! No one. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Ever.
This is perfect for singles because it lets you know in advance what to look for so that you do not get in too deep. Heartbreak sucks and if you wait to start wondering if the relationship is on or off, your heart has too much to lose. This is another great book for women who are on the fence or doubt their relationships, a new guy, or need a good foundation before they start dating again. There are clear behaviors that men display and if he’s not into you, this book tells you. No more psychics, no more calling your best friend or asking your neighbor, or his best friend, or having conversations with your whole office about your situation. If he’s not into you and you have doubts or are not sure of his behaviors or your relationship, get this book.
3. Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man – Steve Harvey
I loved this book and this movie. Steve Harvey gives the information straight up and holds nothing back. He talks about how men have standards and how standards are important for women to have as well. He discusses how men distinguish between one night stands and marriage material. I cannot think of any woman I have ever had a conversation with that did not have a situation at least once in her life when she was concerned about the sincerity of one particular guy. This is why this book is so potent for women, because there is always that one guy that you fall head over heels in love with and who does not want the same thing you do. Don’t cry about it, just change you and do something about it. That is why this book is so good, because it is practical and it contains several situations that are relate-able.
4. Love Smart – Find the One You Want or Fix the One You’ve Got – Dr. Phil McGraw
I read this a long time ago – and while I realize there are many people on the fence about Dr. Phil McGraw, I think he has a lot of good things to say in this book. One of which is the 80/20 rule. He writes that in the you will get up to 80 percent of what you want in a partner (qualities, characteristics, values, etc). as long as the other 20 percent does not fall in the deal-breaker category such as drug abuse, addiction, etc. He writes that many people look for a 100 percent match and that is just too unrealistic. I agree with him here. Nobody is perfect and some people look for perfection. Give up perfection and try to stay within the 70/30 or 80/20 area when seeking a partner and as you get to know each other you build upon the relationship from there. Some people give up too early while not giving another person a chance because they don’t meet their initial standards. Having standards is good, but perfection is unrealistic.
5. Soulmate Secrets – Arielle Ford
This book is about manifesting your true love. Some people say that your true soul mate is not always a lover or romantic partner. So, for the title of this book, while it uses the term soul mate, I know that it means life partner, lover, spouse, etc. This book has a great power to help you harness the power of manifesting to attract your true love into your life. Arielle Ford has a great wisdom throughout this book which shines through and helps both women and men to get in tune with themselves which helps them to attract their ideal partner.
Overall ladies, these books will not only give you insight into men and relationships but will also help push you into standing in your own power. A man wants a confident woman. Stop floundering and stand in your power as a woman.