Can you really be happy for someone who say just had a multi-thousand or even hundred-thousand dollar launch?
Can you be happy for someone else’s success while you are struggling with achieving your own?
One of the biggest things that comes up for women is jealousy and envy – the green eyed monster.
The comparisonitis, the “why her, and not me” game.
I’ve been there and it felt icky and completely incongruent. I felt like I was drowning. I felt lost and left out, like that girl who is the wallflower at the party, and sometimes even worse like there was a party and I hadn’t been invited.
I wanted the secret handshake and the secret recipe for creating my own level of success. The comparisonitis of other women ate me up and spit me out.
I was attached to the success so much that I could not see past the green to feel the slightest bit good for this other person.
Then I felt shame because all of my colleagues would share how being jealous was awful for my money mindset and horrific for business. This made me feel worse.
So how could I shift this despicable feeling within me? How could I feel good for this million dollar launch chick? (see how the numbers get exaggerated the more you think about it?)
Enter mindset transformation stage left.
I started to think about collaboration instead of competition. What if she was me? What if I was her?
This was a stretch because as I looked at my bank account at this moment I was not feeling thousands richer. It was definitely a practice.
I also thought about women’s empowerment and what it means to be a woman in this day and age.
I worked on my own inner demons and came to realize that what I want for others, I also want for myself and what I want for myself I also want for others. I came to realize that we live in an abundant, infinite universe and the limitations are the ones that we create.
Just look at Malala who could not even go to school. Think about the women who are not able to read or learn because that’s either culture or law.
We want to empower them right? We want to reverse child slavery and we want to completely eradicate any possibility of child brides. This from a western view is women’s empowerment. We want to empower those who have no voice. We want to lift women up who have to walk twenty miles just to fills jugs with clean water and walk it back to their village. We’re all about empowering them because that’s what society tells us to do.
But what about cheering on women who’ve made it? Why do we not also see that these women are paving the way? Why do we not see that they are also us, and that at the end of the day, this gives us greater agency to pave our own way?
So the next time you’re hating on the chick who is making 5k, 10k, 15k, or 100k or whatever, think about how she’s helping to empower you. Think about how she’s paving the way for you to grow your life and business. Think about how you can also be empowered by her win, by creating your own!
Empowered women empower other women. Nuff said.