While this is not a common question asked by clients, working outside the coaching sessions on action plans and remaining accountable is expected. I typically state up front that they would put into practice the information and insight gained within our coaching sessions together.
Coaching is a way to gain insight, improve skills, and engage in an experience that helps the client to see things from a different perspective, deal with issues (past or present) and work on positive change. However, that change begins with YOU. A coach is a guide and a resource, not a person that waves a magic wand and makes all the problems disappear.
It is important to realize that when hiring a coach that the goal (hopefully) is to work through the issues, making positive changes, and acquire new skills while focusing on growth so that you can get on with your life.
One of the main things that most people don’t realize when getting coached is that you should be open to changing your thoughts. This idea of changing the way you think can open up a world of possibilities because when you change your thoughts, you can also change your life. Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote a book all about just that. It is titled It is also probably available at your local library for checkout as well. It is a good resource for those who might not understand what changing their thoughts entails. A change in thoughts usually begins with self-talk (what thoughts you have about yourself or your situation), although it can occur on many levels and it many aspects of life. One example of “changing your thoughts” might be to change how you think about traffic for example. Most people hate traffic (especially if you have a long commute to/from work). Yet this is an opportunity for many to use this time for personal development.
So, how do you change your thoughts on a long commute or when stuck in traffic?
Get some CD’s that you want to jam out to. Get a book on CD or put your iPod on and make use of your time and turn the long car ride into a time for you to learn something new (a language perhaps), or to listen to a new novel that you don’t have time to read. The change in thinking would be from “my morning commute sucks” to “hey, my morning commute is great because I can finish a couple of chapters in a book, listen to my favorite morning show, enjoy my morning coffee, and/or learn a new language on CD.” Now if you have trouble getting out of the house on time in the morning, maybe your thought change needs to start with, “I will get out of the house on time today (or tomorrow).” and line up the circumstances so that you set yourself up for success and you are able to do that. Changing the way you think, can help you set things up differently in your life so you can achieve the things you want, instead of living with things you don’t want.
Furthermore, moving on from changing your thoughts, and more on changing your life – whatever the problem situation (marriage problems, relationship issues, self-esteem issues, weight issues, financial issues, commitment issues, communication problems, etc.) it is important to not only see what you may have done wrong in the past, but also what you can do to change those things, and then acting on them. ONLY YOU have the POWER to change the things you want to change. No one else can do it for you. You CAN work out the issues that may have happened in childhood, or in previous relationships, or through whatever traumatic event might have brought things to a head; however it is also important to not brush off personal responsibility that occurs in the “NOW”. Life happens in the present, not in the past, and not in the future.
Today is the day you have the opportunity to make a change in your life, and coaching can help you but you also have to make the steps outside the sessions to solidify the changes and move forward. Only you have the power to make that change.
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale
In love and light,